The Leadoff: Drafting Josh Allen would be the most Browns thing to do

There is so much stuff going on right now that I don’t even know where to begin. Local sports in the area are beginning to heat up, the NBA playoffs just began and the NFL Draft is just a few days away.

However, since my dad is a Cleveland Browns fan, I am contractually obligated to at least poke fun of this poor incompetent organization whenever I get the chance. They have won only one game in the past two years and I think they are about to do the most browniest Brown thing, I have ever seen (rhyme unintentional).

Folks, (I say that when I want to sound really professional, I hear Mike Mayock do it all the time on NFL Network) JOSH ALLEN IS TERRIBLE. If Josh Allen found himself in a boat, in a lake, right in front of a barn (broadside facing) and decided to stand up, in said boat, and throw a ball at the barn, I’m pretty sure he would throw the ball at the barn, miss it, and then somehow manage to also miss the water because he is just that terrible.

Sure he is tall and has big hands and can run and is white, but it doesn't matter if you can throw a pigskin over dem mountains (in your best Uncle Rico voice) if you’re throwing it at the wrong mountain. The dude wasn’t even all-conference in the Mountain West.

Somehow, this happens every couple of years: a quarterback comes into the draft and looks impressive with a T-shirt on and all of a sudden every coordinator thinks he has found the holy grail. My stance on quarterbacks is pretty simple: if they aren’t visibly great in college then don’t draft them. Coordinators go from six to midnight when they see a guy that *can* make all the throws while standing on the field by himself but if he can't do it against the future mortgage brokers and enterprise rent-a-car employees playing in the secondary at Utah State, then he for sure isn’t going to do it against NFL athletes.

Sidebar — what is up with this obsession with Pro days for quarterbacks? I saw multiple analysts fawning over only four of five balls being dropped. Since when is dropping any balls on air acceptable? If you can’t complete passes with no defenders or equipment on then you can’t play quarterback and it doesn’t impress me if you can.

We did it with Bortles, Gabbart, EJ Manuel, and Jake Locker and those are only since 2010. I would much rather have Baker Mayfield, Josh Rosen or Lamar Jackson. Josh Allen led his team to an 8-5 record, again, in the Mountain West.

Many scouts have been trying to point out the success of smaller school quarterbacks in the league recently, like Roethlisberger (Miami, OH) or Carson Wentz (North Dakota State), the only problem is, they were WAY BETTER.  In his final season Roethlisberger's completion percentage was 69 percent, in Carson Wentz’s senior season he completed 63 percent of his passes and won back to back National Titles. Allen just finished this year completing only 53 percent of his passes and earned himself an honorable mention.

I promise that Josh Allen will not be any good which is why I am also positive the Browns will draft him, it’s just what they do.


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